Self care is vital to good mental health, but can be challenging to think of ways to treat yourself well during times of pain and suffering. Following are a few suggestions that I hope will help inspire you.

• Prayer. Contrary to what many people think, prayer need not be anything fancy or formal. Simply saying, “Father, please comfort me!”  or even, “HELP!!” can be an intensely powerful prayer. Do not forget God is your Father, so you can talk to Him that way. Romans 8:15 says, “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading again to fear [of God’s judgment], but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons [the Spirit producing sonship] by which we [joyfully] cry, “Abba! Father!” ” (AMP) So talk to Him, and listen to whatever He says to you, too. Enjoying God’s comfort and having a conversation with Him will help tremendously, even during the most difficult of times.

• Along these lines, learn who you are as a child of God. The Bible lists some pretty amazing things that God says about His children. To get you started, here is a list I made of some, phrased in “I” format to make them more personal.

• Be creative. Creativity comforts and nourishes the soul, so get out some paint, drawing materials, crafting supplies or whatever your preference for a creative outlet. If you do not have one, maybe now is the time to find one. Do not worry about how good or bad you think what you make looks, simply create. Let your emotions guide what you create and how you make it. You do not have to share your creations with anyone unless you want to. Or, you could use them to help raise awareness of the intense bond people can have with their pets or narcissistic abuse.

• Write. f you have lost a pet, write out your pet’s story (how you met, fun memories, interesting stories through the years, and eventually how they died). If you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, write out your story. Writing is very cathartic, validating and healing. There is something about seeing things in writing that is extremely validating and it helps to purge negative emotions from inside of you which makes more room for healing. You do not have to show any of your writings to anyone if you do not want to. If you do, consider publishing them as they may help other people in similar situations to yours.

• If you do not want to write out the entire story, journal specific events. Journaling is a wonderful thing. It helps you to get your thoughts and feelings out, document events, and more while providing cathartic, validating and healing benefits. There are many types of journaling activities you can do such as creating a gratitude journal, writing poems, letters, following journal prompts, writing a grievance journal and more. You even can draw rather than write. The best part is no one will judge you on whatever you put in your journal. It is meant to be completely private. I use an online one that is password protected.

• Consider mindfulness meditation. Although it got its start in Buddhism, it does not need to be anything mystical. It simply involves sitting or laying somewhere comfortably, focusing on the sensations in your body, noticing the space you take up in your environment and being completely present in the moment. When your mind wanders, do not judge it. Simply return your focus. There are plenty of guided mindfulness meditations available online. Mindfulness meditations help to calm the mind and body, and increase your sense of peace.

• Conscious breathing and cardiac coherence also can be helpful. Both are relaxation techniques that focus on breathing as a way to calm the mind and body, which helps to manage intense emotions such as sadness or anger.

• Take in some beauty. That can mean spending time in nature, basking in the amazing things God has made, visiting an art museum, traveling the globe via pictures of foreign lands online or simply looking at pictures that stir your soul. Beauty may not fix anything but it definitely can help to elevate your mood.  I enjoy beauty on a regular basis, and have taken many lovely pictures.  They are available on my main website if you would like to see them.

• Sometimes holding something tangible to make you feel comforted can be helpful, like a child with a stuffed animal, toy or blanket. If you have something that helps you to feel comforted, there is nothing wrong with that. Hold onto it, focusing on the item. If it is small, keep it in your pocket so you can touch it anytime as even that small contact can be helpful.

• Indulge yourself. While any overindulgence can be bad, sometimes a little indulgence is a wonderful thing. Enjoy a yummy treat you normally do not eat or drink, splurge on something fun like a book or even a new outfit (if you can afford it), color your hair a fun color (it will grow out if you do not like it!).. the point is to do something extra special for yourself just because. It can be surprisingly comforting and nurturing as it sends the message that you love yourself.

Whatever self care you opt to employ is not really important, so long as it is something you enjoy and makes you feel nurtured and comforted.

Now go take good care of you! You deserve it!